True Sons and True Fathers – We need to be both.
I really feel that men in large, have let go of their true responsibility as fathers, and lovers, and it’s time we change that! We are meant to lead our families responsibly, we are meant to give ourselves up, and put the needs of the family above our own. We are meant to literally die for our wives if it comes to that, and yet in the same breath we are not meant to walk on eggshells, and give up our role as leaders in our households.
Well where does that leave us as men? It seems that our culture is trying to neuter the phrase “Man” and wash it into some sort of grey area. I am not ok with that. Now I understand that over the years abusive, controlling, fear based fathers have caused a massive shift in how we view the family. The massive problem is that we have a tendency to jump from one side of a ditch, directly into another! Yes, abusive fathering is not right, but a passive, relinquishing of the role of the Father is also, in fact, the same thing! Both are unbalanced, both produce poor results in wives, both produce negative tendencies and destructive behaviour in children. And both leave us as men, powerless to have a positive influence on our homes.
I mean I could show you all the numbers of what is going on in a largely fatherless generation, but I am not talking about those fathers that are not at home still. I am talking to the ones of us that are, still capable of making an impact. WHY do we as men give up so easily? The couch has CONSUMED us, passivity has plagued us, and we are watching the very thing we never wanted to happen to our kids, happen! And yet nothing changes.
There MUST be a response in the hearts of men across the world, there must be a change. If there isn’t we will watch another generation perish into absolute turmoil, fatherless. Ok so what do we do? To become a great father, we need to become a great SON, true sons. I know it is so hard to say that, as many of us had horrible experiences with our own fathers. But if you would look around there is someone near you that is an honorable man. Someone near you that you can be looked at as a leader. Someone around you that you can build a relationship with.
Now understand this men. As a son you need to understand that a true father will bring correction into your life! He will tell you to get off of the couch, “get a haircut, and a real job” kind of thing. If they don’t correct you, it isn’t a father, what you have is a brother. And a brother cannot produce the same result as a true father can in your life.
I am SO thankful for the true fathers in my life (yes I have more than one). My biological father passed away a number of years ago. Today I have multiple men assuming that role in my life. Men that are not walking on eggshells around me. Men that can tell me the truth, unhindered. What I have around me, are true fathers. And I can submit to them, not because they are perfect, but because I am a good son, and know that they are trying to produce something great in me. True sons will invite true fathers to speak into their lives.
Read about my family of seven HERE