The best country, Oh Canada.
Today is the day we celebrate the best country on Earth, Canada. Sure there are problems still, but like any nation you just gotta take what you can get… I think. Anyway Canada is more than America’s hat, and yes I know many Americans are taught that Canada is a frozen wasteland of tundra and dog sleighs, but we have lot’s more stuff! Like beer, and hockey! … Seriously though, through the years we have been termed as “The most polite people in the world” But that day is over! CANADA IS BETTER THAN YOUR COUNTRY SO EAT IT!
For too long we have said “Sorry” when someone bumps into us! For too long we have waved a pedestrian across the street, at a non-crosswalk! For too long have we sat idly by as other nations such as Switzerland and Sweden have tried to claim our title! No my friends, today we take a stand and shout “Today we toss off our polite falsities! Today we tell the truth!”
The truth is that you really can’t find a Nation that has what Canada does. Sure your country might have some of those things, but not all, (and super 24-7 Walmarts do not count). You won’t be able to find a Nation that carries Lay’s Ketchup potato chips, or a country that sells coffee in the form of a “Coffee Crisp”, you wont be able to have an awesome maple leaf on like everything you own! And while we are speaking about maple. Syrup. Maple Syrup is a glorious substance, many claim we are addicted to it, but I say how can something so divine be addictive?
Now we head over to one of the many Canada Day celebrations, where we reenact the battle of 1812 and the burning of the White House, twice, google it. We will hoist our red and white flags, and ride our moose with pride! We will eat elk, and seal, and many other wild game. We will bathe in maple syrup and laugh as we bask in the mountains, and plains, and hills, valleys, streams, lakes, oceans (Yes multiple oceans).
So next time someone tries to tell you about the best country on Earth, and “Canada” isn’t immediately named, you can hold up your hand, close your eyes, and shake your head, for now you know that Canada is the best. So Eat it. … Ok don’t actually EAT Canada.. Finally I say, “Happy Birthday Canada!”