A family of seven people isn’t the biggest family in the world.
I know there are bigger families out there, or people even dumber than me, but a family of seven is pretty decent… I jest of course, but in the West of the world anything over the standard 2.3 children can raise some eyebrows! Now make all of those 5 kids male and you get the standard “Oh your poor wife!” … well she is married to me so she has riches beyond measure!… Anyway, how do we deal with the mayhem that is raising 5 children? 5 MALE children? Full of energy, and volume, and violence, and blood, which gets all over the place.
I hope to shed light on the issues, laughter, tears, rebellious moments, joyful moments, and really, all that it takes to raise 5 little boys into 5 honorable men, and ultimately raise a family of seven. The short answer is that true leadership must be forefront in our home. A large part of this website will be dedicated to answer the question “How can I be a true leader?” And that HAS to start in our own hearts, and filter down to EVERYONE that comes in contact with your family.
Let me say that leading is not glamorous. I am a Husband, Father, I teach a program to teens, I counsel people, I am a Pastor, I lead meetings, I speak in front of people, and now this! I am quite a public person. To bystanders or people in the crowd, it would seem I am extremely confident, bold, and have a glamourous life, ummm no. I know it looks like that CEO of that ‘hip’ company, has the best position, all the power, all the glitz and fame, all the support of everyone around him, but the reality is, that the person in charge, has the most headaches! It isn’t the second in command, it isn’t the person behind the scenes, it even isn’t the hands that keep bailing water out of a sinking ship that have the hardest job! The leader does. If the leader does nothing, then no one does, if the leader makes a mistake, everyone feels it. We really need to understand that unless we are actually in charge, we are NOT in charge. And here is the kicker, trying to position ourselves to a place of usurping authority and trying to dominate (even passive aggressively) will really crush us, and destroy all we touch, why? Because we did not understand the weight of being in the lead, it was more than we were ready to carry. That’s why we largely have 1 kid at a time! Or why you don’t start bench pressing 500 pounds! You need to build muscle first. So why do we give children dictatorship over the home? Why do we feel we must bow to attitude? To prove we love our kids? No, that will not work. Giving someone the responsibility of leading that cannot carry what it takes to lead, is, and will be, destructive to your family.
“So who is in charge of your family of seven? How does it all work?” Well for my wife and I, I am. Does it mean I am a ruthless dictator? No, of course not! We talk about MANY issues, we weigh out pros and cons, we do all of that TOGETHER, just like a large company would! HOWEVER, at the end of the day SOMEONE has to make a decision! Someone has to push the button and step out on a choice. Do we agree 100%, 100% of the time? … Really?!? No of course not, but my wife trusts me, even in my absolute weakness she supports and loves me. I understand not all families have the capability of this taking place right now. What I am saying is that it CAN happen, and hopefully we can help you get to a place where your family THRIVES under true leadership. What’s more, is that kids really can get behind a unified husband and wife, the boundaries it creates for them give them the best chance to learn quickly. In turn this gives them the ability to be leaders themselves! And one day, lead their own children!
This is a HUGE Topic, there is no way I can talk about it all in one post! Sign up for email notifications so you don’t miss a post! As we will expand on this A LOT for a long time to come!
Does anyone have a story where they really respected a leader in their life? Leave a few sentences in the comments!